Welcome to the world, Julius

our birth story, newborn and postpartum must-haves

I know many, if not all, of you are here for gardening advice, tutorials, recipes, and more. But, after going through the most transformational experience of my life giving birth to my first child, I can’t possibly move forward without sharing what I’ve been through.

Carmen in the Garden has always been about connection. By sharing my story, I’m reaching out to new mothers and parent figures, soon-to-be mothers, hopeful mothers, and even those who are still undecided. Today, I’ll be sharing my birth story and some of the essential items we’ve relied on during these past three weeks (many of which happen to be part of Prime Day!)

I’m typically a pretty private person when it comes to experiences like this, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few weeks, it’s that when you reach out for support, it often comes back to you tenfold. By opening up and sharing a little of my own vulnerability, I hope to connect with someone out there who may need it.

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I want to preface this by saying my birth story has a positive outcome, but I was diagnosed with life-threatening HELLP Syndrome — a serious condition that doesn’t always end the way ours thankfully did. If that’s something that feels hard to read about right now, feel free to skip this newsletter. The next time I land in your inbox, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled gardening and cooking content.

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As I write this, I’m three weeks postpartum and just beginning to process it all… the birth, the newborn bubble, and the shift into this new season of life.

On Friday June 13th, Nick and I were just sitting down to dinner when I got a call from my doctor. I had just harvested a ton of carrots and was starting to chop vegetables to make lentil soup. My doctor said some of my liver enzymes and platelets tests had come back abnormal and trending in the wrong direction, and she wanted me to come in to have my blood pressure checked. She also suggested we bring our hospital bag, just in case.

carrot harvest

What was supposed to be a quick check turned into a marathon. One hour of blood pressure monitoring turned into two, then three, then four. Around 10 p.m., after more labs, a nurse came in and told us I was being admitted and would be induced immediately.

when we first checked in for monitoring

We were taken from triage into a new hospital room, where we’d end up staying for the next 72+ hours. It took two full hours to get an IV line placed because I was so swollen. That’s when we were told I was being treated for HELLP syndrome—a rare and serious form of preeclampsia.

Shortly after 1 a.m., they started me on Cytotec to try to get contractions going. All the while, they were closely monitoring the baby, who remained incredibly strong and steady the entire time. I was scared—but Nick never left my side. Eventually, we grabbed dinner: pho and egg rolls, which Nick shared with the nursing staff. By morning, I had progressed from 1 to 2 centimeters dilated.

during labor

Later that day, the doctor and nurse recommended trying a Foley balloon to help me dilate further. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but it worked—I reached 4 centimeters by the time the balloon fell out. From there, I was put on Pitocin to strengthen contractions, and magnesium to help prevent seizures. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything, and I was hooked up to multiple IVs for antibiotics, fluids, and continuous monitoring. Every two hours, someone came in to draw labs, trying to track progress. My veins were so difficult that multiple nurses struggled just to get blood.

That night, my water broke, just a small trickle. I labored through the night, but the Pitocin and magnesium were working against each other. My contractions would ramp up, then slow down. The magnesium hit super hard. I felt feverish and loopy, like I had the flu. By the early morning, I was exhausted and still hadn’t made progress. I was so defeated. I asked for the epidural. It was instant relief.

Our families took turns keeping us company and I began to mentally prepare for the possibility of a C-Section. Eventually, the medical team gave the clear to temporarily reduce the magnesium and turn up the Pitocin to try and encourage some progress. Around 8 p.m., I finally progressed to 7–8 centimeters. An hour later, I started to feel intense pressure. My doctor came in and confirmed: I was at 9.5 centimeters. It was time.

We had 4–5 minutes between contractions, and they were still irregular. I wasn’t progressing fast, but we kept going. We’d do 10 seconds of pushing, breathe, 10 more seconds, breathe again, and push once more. Then rest. Each round was harder than the one before. Nick and the doctor tried to keep me distracted while I drifted between moments of panic, sleep, laughter, and focus.

After an hour of pushing, finally, he arrived.

It’s hard to describe the feeling in that moment, and I don’t know if I ever will be able to. Everything else fell away. He was placed directly on my chest. Nick cut the cord. He was absolutely perfect. We were all in awe of how big he was, especially being two weeks early. We welcomed our son, Julius, on June 15 at 11:30 PM weighing 8 pounds, 9 ounces.

We stayed at the hospital for 3 days following Julius’s birth to continue monitoring my health with blood pressure monitoring, blood draws, and evaluation.

My physical recovery has gone better than I ever could have imagined. I was so sick during my third trimester. At the time, I didn’t know the cause. But, because of HELLP syndrome, I felt like I had the flu constantly. The swelling and carpal tunnel got so bad that I couldn’t do most of my regular activities. The only treatment for HELLP is delivering the baby, and the moment I delivered the placenta, everything changed. The fluid shed almost instantly, and within a day, I had feeling back in my hands for the first time in over two months. To give perspective, I lost 40 pounds in about a week and half of giving birth. I am still waiting for some of my bloodwork to stabilize but overall I’m feeling good!

Mentally, it’s been more challenging. I’ve been processing the birth itself, riding the waves of the biggest hormonal shift of my life, mourning my old life while trying to understand this new one. It’s scary, wonderful, exhausting, and incredibly heavy all at once. I’m just beginning to find ways to support myself through it.

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Newborn and Postpartum Must-Haves

You can shop everything listed below here on my Amazon storefront.

Hospital and Postpartum Care Essentials

• I opted to bring my own hospital gown ($30 $18) and so happy I did. It is so much softer than the ones the hospital provided. I just wish I had brought more than one! We were in the hospital for 5 days.

• I used everything in this postpartum recovery pack, and bought extra disposable underwear ($16 $8) because they were that comfortable. I also recommend picking up some Dermoplast in addition.

• As my recovery progressed, I opted for these organic cotton pads.

• I am so glad I packed a stroller fan ($30 $22). I typically run cold, so I didn’t think I’d need it but when they put me on the magnesium drip, I felt like I was on a tropical vacation.

• I am surprised how much essential oils helped me during my labor. I went without pain medication for the first 36 hours of my 48 hour labor. Nick would put these on a cloth for me to smell. Peppermint for nausea, lavender for calming, and orange for energy. I brought a labor comb, but didn’t end up using it.

• One thing I wish I had brought was bath products I love. I naively thought I would only be at the hospital for 2 days when I packed my go bag so I bought cheap, drugstore brand travel size toiletries. I would have brought my favorite shampoo and conditioner, body wash, lotion, and mouthwash. When I got home, I took the best shower of my life.

Supplements

• I am taking a choline supplement to support increased demand during breastfeeding. It helps to support baby’s cognitive function. I also took this during pregnancy on days when I did not eat eggs.

• I am still taking my regular prenatal vitamin as recommended by my doctor.

• Some emerging research suggests that supplementing with creatine can help with postpartum recovery. I like these single serving packets and trust the quality of this brand.

• I’ve been taking these electrolytes throughout pregnancy, I packed a few for my hospital bag, and now rely on them for hydration for lactation.

• A stool softener is a non-negotiable.

• Since I was on the magnesium drip for so long, and that can delay your milk supply coming in, our pediatrician recommended this supplement to help support my supply. I have been taking it daily, and can say that my supply has been good!

• In the last week, I’ve been having one of these lactation bars daily - usually during the middle of night feeds.

Tech

• I have all of the Hatch sound machines, and I’ve been using them all religiously. They help to soothe the baby but also me. For stroller walks and car rides the Rest Go is essential. For nighttime, I just use the Restore 3 that I already had and loved. For diaper changes and when he moves in to his own room, I have the Rest.

• People love or hate the Huckleberry app. I personally loved it for the first two weeks while we were trying to get Julius back to his birth weight. I wanted to make sure he had good diaper output and I was feeding him consistently. When you are discharged, your pediatrician will ask about diaper output, and the app makes it easy to answer that question. Once he was above his birth weight, I ditched the app. I might pick it back up when we are ready to find a sleep routine.

Travel and Sleeping

• For carseat, we picked the Nuna Pipa RX Car Seat & Base. It easily attaches to our stroller.

• For stroller, we picked the Bugaboo Fox 5 Renew. It really is the smoothest ride. We haven’t quite used the bassinet attachment yet since he’s still so small.

• We take this portable changing pad with us everywhere. It holds our diapering essentials.

• Stokke Tripp Trapp high chair with newborn attachment is perfect for having him sit at the table next to us. The high chair grows with your baby.

• He sleeps in the Newton baby bassinet ($300 $250)

• We have this pack and play for our living room to set him down in for naps.

• For baby wearing, I have both this buttery soft green and this one ($60 $42). They are both great.

• For a structured carrier, this one is perfect ($100 $65) and is okay for 7-25 pounds.

Breastfeeding

What a learning curve breastfeeding has been! I’ve been lucky and grateful that both his latch and my supply have been good. Everyone’s breastfeeding journey is different but here are some things that have made mine a little easier.

• This hospital grade pump was covered by my insurance. I just recently started incorporating pumping in to my routine.

• I have no idea how these work but they are magic for soothing and protecting. I recommend packing in your hospital bag.

• I just introduced the bottle and was recommended these glass bottles by my lactation consultant. They are slow flow and shaped to resemble breastfeeding

• Some babies take to pacifiers while others do not, ours has taken to this and this one.

• I had no idea what I was in for when it came to breastfeeding. I was so delirious on the magnesium trying to hand express and figure out how to feed my baby. Luckily, my insurance covers 1 month of lactation consultation through Mahmee. They came by my hospital room every day and gave me such peace of mind. I’ve also had follow up zoom sessions.

• I keep both this and this nipple butter handy. I especially needed it in that first week. I’d recommend packing in your hospital bag.

• Once my milk came in, I realized that I needed nursing pads, stat! I like that these are washable.

• I cannot emphasize how important it is to stay hydrated. Having a water bottle that is easy to carry around the house has been essential.

Diapering

• We’re loving the Coterie diapers and wipes

• With how many diapers newborns produce, Julius ended up getting a diaper rash. We’ve been using both A&D and Triple Paste and have seen an improvement. I recommend having them on hand before you really need them.

• During a late night feeding session, I ordered hand sanitizers to have throughout the house, and on the go.

• You can never have enough burp cloths and soft wash cloths.

Clothing for me

• I have been living in these elastic waist band denim shorts throughout my pregnancy and postpartum. They make me feel a little more put together with a cute top.

• I also have been using nuuly rental service throughout my pregnancy and postpartum to help fill the gaps in my wardrobe. I’m not super keen on buying a bunch of clothes for a temporary period of time so renting has been great!

• For structured support during the day, I LOVE these nursing bras.

• For nighttime, I like the ease and softness of these nursing bras.

• For pumping I’ll just temporarily throw on this bra.

Clothing for baby

• He’s been basically living in baby gap onesies.

• We love these 100% cotton footed sleepers for bedtime.

• We’ve gone through a lot of trial and error with swaddles. Ultimately, I think he just wants to have his hands up by his face. Luckily, I found this swaddle and it’s been working for us.

• We also have been loving the halo swaddles and will likely transition to their sleep sacks once swaddling is done.

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