Does cooking from scratch make you a #tradwife?
Plus, my best tips for protecting your garden from the summer heat
In today’s newsletter:
my personal reaction to the Eater article: What Does It Take to Actually Cook Like a Tradwife? Get in, losers, we’re going to make some mozzarella
for paid subscribers: everything I am doing in my garden to protect it from the summer heat and signs of heat stress in plants
If you’ve stumbled here by chance, hi! I’m Carmen in the Garden. I try to grow as much of my own food as possible while living in the city of Los Angeles. Most people know me for the harvest baskets I create as gifts for my in-laws or for my garden-to-table recipes.
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As a content creator who has developed a large following around garden-focused recipes and cooking videos, I was taken aback by Eater’s recent article, "What Does It Take to Actually Cook Like a Tradwife?" The piece is not just condescending towards people who find joy in hands-on, homemade activities; it unfairly associates a genuine love for cooking from scratch with the negative connotations of the "tradwife" label, ultimately discouraging creativity and exploration.
For those unfamiliar, "tradwife" is shorthand for “traditional wife,” a term used to describe women who embrace traditional gender roles, focusing on cooking, cleaning, and raising children in service of their husbands. This movement has garnered criticism for reinforcing regressive views about the role of women and is sometimes linked to white supremacy and alt-right ideologies. However, it’s essential to recognize that not everyone who enjoys homemaking aligns with these extreme beliefs.
Eater sets up a biased experiment to ridicule the notion of cooking from scratch at home. The author, while admitting to a curiosity about the allure of the tradwife lifestyle, embarks on an experiment filled with exaggerated disdain and a holier-than-thou attitude. Statements like, “As both a feminist and a lazy person, I should not have been this jazzed about a weekend of cooking and cleaning,” dismiss the genuine joy and fulfillment that many people, including myself, find in these activities.
The article frames cooking from scratch as a grueling, thankless task, suggesting that those who engage in it are either misguided or performing for an online audience. For example, the author describes feeling "a level of envy" towards tradwives for their "personal and economic privilege," while simultaneously mocking the effort they put into their cooking and homemaking tasks. This narrative is damaging because it paints a negative picture of a hobby that can bring immense satisfaction and well-being. By associating cooking from scratch with the controversial tradwife movement, Eater risks discouraging readers from exploring these rewarding activities.
I’ve managed to avoid the tradwife discourse on Instagram and TikTok, and I always preemptively click the “not interested” button whenever the topic pops up. The mere mention of it makes me shudder. Admittedly, I've received a few stray comments which I’ve promptly deleted, and I’ve blocked any accounts that try to label me a tradwife (it’s my account, and I can block whoever I want!).
I follow numerous food-centric reporting accounts, particularly those focused on restaurants, because I love dining out. So, I follow Eater, and alas, they couldn't resist dipping their toes into the murky waters of tradwife stereotypes. They set up a biased experiment to ridicule a lot of people under the guise of cooking from scratch at home.
I found myself arguing against these stereotypes internally (“I don’t cook from scratch for my husband!” “Since when did cooking from scratch make you a tradwife?” “Why can’t women have hobbies?” “Why has something so simple become meme-ified?”). I tried discussing the Eater article with friends and family, but I couldn’t shake it off.
The relationship between me and my sourdough starter felt strained. I put it in the fridge and thought, "Fine, I’ll buy store-bought!" I'm not a tradwife or an alt-right conspiracy theorist—I can take the shortcut, really, I can. I grew up eating fast food, completely disconnected from the origins of what I consumed. Gardening came into my life during my junior year of college as a hobby to cope with stress and anxiety. It could have been anything—running, knitting, beading, baking—but somehow, it was gardening. About two years into my gardening practice, I started harvesting enough to actually cook and enjoy what I was growing. I had never steamed an artichoke in my life until I grew one.
My journey stemmed from sheer curiosity. Once I steamed an artichoke and tasted the difference between a freshly picked one and the marinated hearts from a jar (my only prior experience with artichokes), I was hooked. These taste amazing with melted butter, I thought. How do you make butter? Well, it turns out you just shake whole milk in a mason jar until it becomes butter. Add some salt and herbs, and you’ve got salted herbed butter. But what goes really well with butter? Bread. So, I Googled: how to make bread. And that’s how I opened Pandora’s box. Sourdough, yeasted, baguettes, muffins, biscuits, cookies, cinnamon rolls, PASTA, and more.
Throughout this journey, do you know what was never on my mind? My husband, future kids, or any supposed natural obligation to feed and sustain them. No, I was just having fun outside the monotony of my job, where I analyzed thousands of homes for acquisition, with profitability as my primary performance indicator. Gardening, along with the crafts and culinary adventures it led to, gave me a sense of control and peace over a small but mighty corner of my life.
The Eater article misses the point entirely. By reducing the joy of cooking from scratch to a regressive stereotype, it undermines the authentic passion many of us have for these activities. The author questions whether the effort of making food from scratch is "actually worth it," suggesting that store-bought alternatives are equally satisfying. This perspective disregards the personal fulfillment and sense of accomplishment that comes from creating something with your own hands.
Had I encountered that Eater article instead of Erin Benzakein’s Cut Flower Garden (my first introduction to gardening), who knows how my path might have differed? I probably would have scoffed and thought, why bother with all this when you can just buy it from the store? But for me, the point isn’t the end product. It’s not about the “grilled cheese made with Wonder Bread” versus sourdough or handmade butter versus store-bought. Although there’s a valid debate there, it's one for another time. The point is discovery, curiosity, and learning to do something for its own sake—to fill the little time we have outside our daily obligations, the expectations we hold ourselves to, and the rat race. That’s why I cook from scratch. And, I know I’m not the only one.
So, to those who find joy in creating from scratch, whether it’s bread, butter, or a beautiful garden, don’t let articles like Eater’s dissuade you. Embrace your curiosity, celebrate your discoveries, and continue to find peace and fulfillment in the small, beautiful things you create with your hands. In a world that often pushes us towards convenience and speed, taking the time to create something from scratch can be a radical act of self-care and mindfulness. It's not about fitting into a mold or adhering to outdated stereotypes. It's about exploring your interests, finding joy in the process, and sharing that joy with others. Eater's article may have aimed to critique a certain lifestyle, but in doing so, it risked alienating a broad audience who find genuine satisfaction in the simple, beautiful act of making things with their hands.
I think what the author of this article truly takes issue with is influencers and content creators who set unrealistic standards, making us feel inadequate. In this case, it's about a select number of influencers who perhaps don’t disclose the sources of their wealth or the hired staff they use to maintain their polished social media images. The problem isn't with tradwives specifically, but with the narrow, idealized images being conveyed. When viewers compare themselves to these creators, it often results in feelings of lack. This comparison can lead to a range of responses, from inspiration at best to hatred and ridicule at its worst.
This brings us to a critical point of discomfort: whose responsibility is it to create a safe space? This question extends beyond tradwives to any niche—fitness, health, wellness, beauty, fashion, travel. Is it the creator’s responsibility to be transparent and considerate, even though they are often rewarded for creating controversial, attention-grabbing content? Is it the consumer’s responsibility to simply keep scrolling if they don’t like what they see? Or is it the tech companies’ responsibility, as they profit from all the attention, regardless of its nature?
Hot, Hot, Hot
It’s as if someone flipped a switch and declared, “let there be heat.” Here are some quick and hot tips to keep your garden cool through summer and fall (because let’s be honest, for us Southern Californians, it doesn't start cooling down until December). I’ll discuss:
Signs of heat stress
8 tips you can start implementing right away
A note on bolting and end of season
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